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I was like a deer caught in the headlights the first time I heard this from my soon-to-be 5 year old step daughter. I didn’t know what to say or how to react. I wanted to be upset, and then I felt stupid for being upset, and then I just wanted to pick her up and hug her. I think all of these are normal responses.
As a man, I’m naturally competitive. So, of course I’m going to want her to want me more, but that’s wrong and immature of me. I encourage her to love her dad and spend time with him. Her dad and I don’t know each other very well yet, but I can tell already that he loves her with all of his heart and would do anything for her. I completely respect her relationship with him and will never get in the way of that.
But, I want her to want me too, so how do I do this? Well, spending time together and doing things that she wants to do is a good start! If she behaves then we play Mario Kart on her Nintendo Gamecube that I got her for Christmas this past year. When time and finances allow, her mother and I like to take her to do fun things, like a local amusement park. I think the next thing I want to take her to do is ice skating, but I’m still trying to find something that she’s never done before.
Buying toys and things for a child is great and all, but nothing will build a lasting relationship with a child like ‘time well spent’.
